Celebrate Recovery – Hurts, Habits and Hangups
Celebrate Recovery mentions “recovery from life’s hurts, habits and hang-ups.” But what does this mean?
If you suffer from one or more of the effects defined in the following, Celebrate Recovery can offer a solution of healing for you.
hurt: to experience physical pain caused by yourself or another; to feel emotional pain; undergo or experience difficulties or setbacks.
habit: regular repeated behavior pattern. An action or pattern of behavior that is
repeated so often that it becomes typical of somebody, although he or she may be
unaware of it. Addiction, such as an addiction to a drug, food or some other
stimuli that deadens ones feelings.
hang-up: a psychological or emotional problem or fixation about something. An issue that causes persistent impediment or source of delay.
A Definition of Codependent Sobriety for Men
Codependent sobriety is somewhat different from other sobrieties, because we do not have a
substance from which to abstain. Our addiction is more relational in nature. The key is
learning how to have healthy relationships and how to establish and enforce appropriate
boundaries. Those healthy boundaries will help us accurately define where we end and
another person begins. Codependent sobriety is a faithful commitment to consistently work
the program; including working through the CR Step Study Group, steady attendance at the
Large Group Meetings, and to maintain our responsibility to a Sponsor and our Accountability
Partners. We advocate journaling, daily inventory, transparency and rigorous honesty.
A Definition of Codependent Sobriety for Women
In the Women’s Codependent group, our definition of sobriety is: We are earnestly working
our program. We are learning as much as we can about codependency so that we can
recognize our behaviors and ask God to help us improve. We are attempting to depend only
on the opinion of God, not other people.
Thirty days of sobriety would include attending at least 3 out of 4 Monday night meetings
during that period. Another reflection of sobriety would be attending and completing a Step
Living by God’s Financial Guidelines:
• Tithe 10%
• Save 10%
• Live on 80%
A Definition of Sobriety from Anger
We realize that anger is a God-given emotion and that we must learn to deal with this emotion in a Christlike manner. Even Jesus got angry, but it is how we use that anger that is important. Using it in a healthy way will help keep us sober. Attending the Men’s Open Share Anger Group will provide a safe place to share your hurts, habits and your anger. As you attend more of the meetings, you will be better able to identify the root cause of your anger. One of the tools that men can use to gain control of their tempers and avoid the toxic result that comes from losing your temper is to “give Jesus a nano-second.” This tool and others are shared during the group meeting. Attending the group at least three times a month, is critical, as you learn to master the art of “showing up.” We let everyone in attendance know that “the issue is not the issue” and when they are asked to share, they should dig deep and allow God to help them break the anger cycle. We need toremember that in life there is ‘fair pain’ and ‘unfair pain.’ In the Men’s Anger Group, we learn to differentiate between the two, praying to God to show us how to develop the tools to find a way out of our unhealthy behaviors.
The term co-addict refers to codependent behaviors. In essence, co-addicts are addicted to their spouse’s or significant other’s behaviors. We either give in to them or try to control them or make them stop. All books and materials refer to the spouse of a sex addict as a “co-addict.”
As co-addicts we recognize that we need the recovery process to heal ourselves and grow in our relationship with God. A state of confidence resulting from a reliance and trust in God and myself. A definition of sobriety for COSA includes:
• Focusing on God and relying on Him to meet my needs.
• Letting go of control and trusting God for the outcome.
• Not taking responsibility for the addict’s behavior or recovery.
• Allowing the sex addict to be responsible for his own actions and recovery—no rescuing.
• Being honest with myself about my need to be in recovery.
• Minding my own business: no checking up on or spying on the addict, trusting that God will reveal any necessary information.
• A commitment to growth through prayer, educational reading and accountability.